Life Can Change
by jksh50
Summary: Steve's life changes drastically as a result of a tragedy.
1. Chapter 1

Life Can Change

It was 9 pm. The four detectives sat in Steve's office after nearly a week of intense work. They were winding down from the case that had taxed their reserves. But they had come out ahead, the murderers were under lock and key, and their case was air tight. These criminals would be put away. They were gratified; this was the kind of rewarding police work that made their efforts worthwhile.

He was about to dismiss them all and send them home, when his private line rang. He answered, listened a minute, sat down in shock. He shakily asked, "Can you repeat that, please?"

Danny, Chin and Kono were all looking carefully, and with great concern at Steve. He scribbled down a phone number and name, simply asked, "They're okay?" Then followed with, I'll come, and hung up. He stared at the phone as if he had never seen one before.

"My God!"

Danny came over to his side, KNOWING something very serious and bad was up. He gently touched his shoulder, "What, Steve?"

Slowly Steve looked at him. In disjointed words, he said…" MaryAnn… Tom… dead… drunk …. Patrick… Sean… okay… MaryAnn… died instantly… Tom… dead… car accident… freeway… drunk…"

"Steve, are you saying Tom and MaryAnn have died in a car accident with a drunk driver?"

Steve was dazed… "Tom… MaryAnn, drunk driver…. dead… boys buckled up…. fine… minor injuries… observation…."

Danny shook him, "STEVE! WHO was that?" Steve didn't answer. Danny looked at the number scrawled on the pad and called it, asking for a Dr. Houng. He explained who he was and got accurate information from the man. He hung up, and told Chin and Kono, "Tom and MaryAnn were killed tonight in a car accident involving a drunk driver. MaryAnn died instantly, Tom shortly after he got to the hospital.. The boys are fine with minor injuries, they were buckled in car seats, and they're being held overnight for observation. MY GOD!"

After their first child had died from cancer, Tom and MaryAnn had two more children, boys. Patrick was now almost 2, and Sean was about 4 months. Steve had never met the younger one, they were planning a family vacation to Hawaii in a few months for Christmas. He was looking forward to it.

Danny took charge. "Chin, you and Kono are going to handle things here. Steve and I will take the first flight out tomorrow for LA."

"Gotcha, Danny. What else can we do?" Danny replied, "Call the airlines, check flight time, get us on it. I'll take care of Steve and keep you posted."

Danny ushered his still in shock friend to his car. He took him to his condo, and inside. Steve was almost catatonic. Danny packed a suitcase for him for a few days, as well as overnight supplies for tonight. Then they went back to his place and Danny placed a call to Doc. "Doc, I know it's late, but I think I could use your help." He explained what had happened, and the state Steve was in. "Doc, I think he needs to sleep." Doc was going to call a nearby pharmacy and have something delivered, changed his mind, and made a house call to Danny's. He gave Steve a light sedative, and more for Danny to use tomorrow if needed. Steve slept in the guest room. Danny got them up early to catch the plane. Steve was better when he awoke, but still far from himself. On the plane, he finally looked at Danny with some clarity in his eyes. "Oh, Danno…"

Danny just held his arm… "We'll get through it, Steve. You're NOT alone…"

"She was my sister, Danno, my only sister… And Tom…" He was quiet another hour, but you could tell his mind was functioning better.

"Danno, thank you for being here. It means… so much to me….without you, I couldn't do this…" Danny said nothing, just maintained contact.

Steve sighed deeply. "Danno, life can change fast. In an instant. Long ago, when MaryAnn was pregnant with Tommy, what, that must be over five years ago now… she and I had a long talk one night. She asked me to be legal guardian of her kids, to take them and raise them, should anything ever happen to her and Tom. I said yes right away, but she didn't accept my answer. She told me she REALLY wanted me to think about it, what that might mean, in terms of MY life and career and family if I had any. She made me mull it over the next two days before we talked again. And I DID, Danno. She was smart to ask me to really think about it, instead of just give the standard expected yes."

He continued his recollections, "What I thought about then was first, that I couldn't really imagine ME having a family of my own. And I don't have, as I expected. And I thought about what accepting that responsibility would mean. I figured it would mean some serious changes in my life, in regards to my commitment to the job and Five-O, my time, my whole life. And I decided that my commitment to MaryAnn and Tom, and my nieces or nephews over-rode my commitment to Five-O. Family is thicker, more important. I figured if it ever came to that, and I NEVER, NEVER, Danno, in a million years thought it would, I wanted family to be first. The kids would need me, I'd be all they had. I made that commitment to MaryAnn after serious consideration, as she asked. I made it because I WANTED to, because I had to, it was the right choice. I figured if it ever came to pass, the good Lord had a plan bigger than we were privy to. And I don't regret it AT ALL. But good God, I have NO idea how, Danno, how this is going to work. I have NO idea how to be a father! And they're so young! WHAT am I going to do?"

Danno reassured him, "We'll figure it out, Steve. We'll figure it out, one step at a time."

Steve shook his head, "Danno, I know I'm not thinking clearly. I think I'll count on YOU to do that for me."

Danno supported him, "I can do that, Steve. I'm HERE for you." They hadn't eaten, the stewardess came around with meals, Steve rejected his and Danno insisted he eat. All of it. Steve did, robotic-like. After the tray was removed, he couldn't have told you what he ate.

After they landed at LAX, they collected luggage. Steve looked at his suitcase, asked Danno in bewilderment, "You packed for me?" "Yes, Steve."

Danno hailed a cab and they went directly to the hospital. They talked with the doctor. He somberly went over the few details he knew, then escorted them to the pediatric ward where the two boys were. Steve hesitated at the door. Danno waited for Steve to move, then followed him in. The boys were in beds- cribs- next to each other. They were awake and not unhappy. Steve reached out and touched Sean, the younger one. "Hi, Buddy. I'm your Uncle Steve." Sean grabbed his finger and cooed. Steve looked over at his brother, and repeated his action. Patrick, naturally, didn't know him. He didn't seem afraid, yet wasn't overjoyed to see this stranger.

The doctor was ready to discharge the boys, Steve filled out paperwork and signed papers. The nurses had dressed them. Steve wasn't sure what to do next- he looked at Danno. His friend confidently said, "We're going to take them home and go from there." He picked up Sean and indicated to Steve to pick up Patrick and they headed out. Danno hailed a cab and they went "home". Home to MaryAnn's house. This was so hard for Steve, but was the best thing.

He asked Steve, "The way you're thinking now, you DO want to assume your obligation as guardian and parent, right? Just double checking, Steve."

Steve was distracted a second, "Yes, Danno. Yes. Without a doubt. Yes. I have no idea HOW, but YES."

"Okay, we'll figure it out." As Steve simply walked dazedly around the house, Danno made sure the kids were good. Sean was immobile, didn't crawl or anything, so that made taking care of him fairly easily. He stayed put where you set him, and didn't get into trouble. The house was childproofed, which made it okay for Patrick, but he was still a toddler and needed almost constant watching. Danny enlisted his "help" in beginning to sort through some things in the bedroom. Sean began to whimper from his perch in the living room, Steve picked him up and carried him about as he continued his dazed walking. Danno could tell he was enough "with it" to be responsible, that he was just reminiscing about his sister. Tears flowed down his cheeks. Danno surmised that holding Sean was therapeutic and healing for him, just a bit.

"Danno, what am I going to do?"

"Well, Steve, today we're going to take care of your nephews, and make arrangements for MaryAnn and Tom's funerals." He was sorry to be so blunt and harsh, but knew that kind of response would be most likely to galvanize Steve into clear thought.

"Okay, Danno. That sounds good." Steve knew which parish they belonged to, he had gone with them when he was visiting. He called the priest., and began there with arrangements. Steve had decided to do things as swiftly as possible, no sense in dragging anything out. Tom had no relatives except a few cousins back east who he wasn't close to. The couple had quite a few friends, but well, Steve just wanted it done with. Understandable.

The priest came out to talk with them, assist in any way he could and rally others to help. Steve couldn't think of anything, other than the recommendation of a funeral home. Danno expected there would be things that would come up, and took Father's number down for himself. They went that afternoon to the funeral home and made arrangements there. MaryAnn had all the legal papers in order that might be needed for anything. Danny wondered if she had some premonition or something, he asked Steve who said, no, not about the papers. That was just her very organized way. Maybe she did way back when she first asked him about guardianship, he didn't really know.

The boys were fairly well behaved during the day, it seemed as if Sean was pretty easy going in general. More than once he had innocently sent a coo or giggle Steve or Danny's way which shed a little levity on a tragic situation. Patrick was a little less contented, you could tell he missed mom and dad, and Steve and Danny didn't have a clue as to his routine, favorite foods, habits, etc. so were winging it. Several neighbors and friends came and offered condolences and help, and brought food. They appreciated this.

At the house, Steve saw something slung over the back of one of the dining room table chairs. He took it and examined it. "Danno, this is some sort of baby sling or pouch. I remember MaryAnn using it with Patrick when he was a baby. She really liked it. She must have used it with Sean as well, it being right out here." He flipped it from side to side, looking at the ring. "I wonder how it works." Somehow he wanted to try it, and slipped it over his shoulder. "How does this work? Is there a 'right' way? Or can you just use it anyway?" Through trial and error, they thought they had it figured out. "You know, Danno, I'm going to try this. I may look goofy, but I like the idea. And MaryAnn obviously liked it. Sean is probably used to it. No reason a man can't use it, is there?"

After a stressful and busy day, they tried to settle down for bed. One crib had been in Tom and MaryAnn's room, they surmised that Sean slept there. They bedded Patrick down in his bedroom, diapered, fed. Steve was reluctant to sleep in MaryAnn's bed, rather than climb in, he choose to sleep on top of it for the night. Sean went to sleep fairly quickly. With the time change and stress, Danny and Steve were also bushed and hit the sack. A few hours later Steve heard Patrick whimpering. He went to the room, picked him up. Danno was out like a light. He brought him back into MaryAnn's room and laid on the bed with him, patting and crooning to him.. He snuggled next to Steve and fell back asleep. And not much later, it was Sean who started whimpering. Steve got up, changed his diaper, he wondered if he was hungry, if he still had night feedings. MaryAnn had been breastfeeding him, he had no idea if he ate at night. The man decided that a bottle wouldn't be out of order, so took the baby into the kitchen while he fixed one. That seemed to be what Sean wanted, and he settled down. Steve was going to put him back in the crib and changed his mind and laid in bed with him. It was early morning when Danno checked things out- he smiled as he saw Steve sound asleep with Sean sleeping on his chest, and Patrick nuzzled next to him in the crook of his arm. Steve was going to do JUST FINE as a daddy.

Steve had decided to hire a company to handle the disposition of all the "stuff", possession and house. He decided to spend some time sorting through Tom and MaryAnn's things, reserving some which he though some day might have sentimental value for his nephews. And photographs. He'd package these all up in a box and have them shipped to Hawaii. There was quite a bit he "kept" for that purpose, all the clothes, knickknacks and the like he didn't plan on keeping. Most of the next day kept him busy with that task. Danny helped, took care of the boys along with Steve. A man from the settlement company came out and they discussed terms, policies and so forth. Steve was able to put it all in their hands, they would handle everything. He had a good feeling about the man and company and felt comfortable doing this. Plus, they were from the same parish as Tom and MaryAnn, and the priest had recommended him.

The wake was that night, and the funeral the next day. Steve felt awkward. Partly because 95% of the time he had a child in his arms, which he was definitely unused to, and partly because all these strangers were offering him condolences. He was tight-lipped all day, didn't shed a tear. They were scheduled to fly out on a 7 pm flight. Danno insisted they leave early, he said they had a stop to make. He called the cab, gave directions quietly to the driver. He had him take them back to the cemetery. NOW, no one was there, Steve would be much better able to express the grief Danno knew was inside. Steve was hesitant at the cemetery. Danno got out, handed Sean to him, took Patrick and guided Steve over to the fresh grave. "Tell her how you feel, Steve."

For a long time, endless tears spilled from him. Sean was completely oblivious to them but he almost COULD sense that his uncle was upset. Danno kept Patrick busy nearby. Later, a good hour later, his friend was ready to take his leave. With one last heartfelt moan, Steve sobbed, "Bye, sis. I love you."

They rode in silence on to the airport.

They waited for the plane to board, the boys occupying their time. Danny had arranged First Class reservations for them. Steve tried to fly First Class usually anyway, with his long legs, coach was really cramped for him. Plus, with the little ones, more space would make things easier. Finally they were airborne. Steve and Danny both were a bit concerned about how the flight would be. The first 15 minutes or so were fine, then it seemed both Sean and Patrick started to get antsy. The stewardess commented that it may well be from air pressure and offered a drink for them. She fixed a bottle for Sean. Those measures seemed to help a bit, but only temporarily. Steve ended up standing in the aisle bouncing Sean, he was content that way. Besides the air pressure, Steve figured they both were probably overwhelmed. Two brand new people in their lives- Steve and Danny- different surroundings, different ways of being handled, NO mom or dad… they had a lot to deal with. He'd expect some tension and discomfort from them. Finally Sean fell asleep. Patrick was somewhat quiet with Danny, but Steve could tell he was not happy. They switched, Steve handing Danno the sleeping Sean, taking Patrick in his arms. He was going to sit down again, and decided that standing with him might not be a bad idea either. He rocked and bounced with him, talking quietly to him all the while. It seemed to soothe the boy. Patrick seemed to have a sadness about him, Steve sensed he knew something tragic had happened. Finally he fell asleep as well, with his head on Steve's shoulder.

And the remainder of the flight was spent thus: each detective with a sleeping child on his lap. Both of them dozed as well- it had been a long hard 3 days for all of them. With more challenges coming up.

After landing in Hawaii, almost midnight local time, Patrick woke up. Not unhappy, but awake. Steve decided to put on the Maya baby sling, got it on and adjusted, and slipped Sean into it. The babe remained sounds asleep. Steve had used it a few times the previous few days, he was getting the hang of it. And really did like it- it gave him hands free, yet baby was safely, and usually sleepily tucked close to him. He hoisted Patrick onto his opposite hip, and he and Danno grabbed the various carry-on bags they had. Traveling with two small ones required MUCH more than just he himself did- you had to have diapers, formula, snacks, changes of clothes, a few toys, and more.

Luggage was retrieved. Steve had packed several suitcases for each boy, plus had a bunch of their clothes and toys sent. They took a cab to Steve's. On the way, Danno said, "Steve, the ohana got together and got things set up for you. I'm not sure what all, or who did what. I think Chin's wife did most of it, or organized- she knew what you'd need. Keiko is good at that. Anyway, last I talked with her, she said everything is set for you. They used my key to your apartment and apparently all is arranged- cribs- I don't know what all."

Getting everything he needed had crossed Steve's mind, once, a few days back. He had been too busy to think about it, figured he'd work on it when he needed to. He was touched by the kindness shown him.

They trudged up to Steve's condo. It seemed as if Patrick was energized by his long "nap" on the plane and showed no signs of being a tired little boy, and every indication of a curious lad wanting to be set down and free. They entered the apartment, and someone had indeed been there. At first glance, Steve saw two high chairs by the table, a stroller and a rocking chair in his living room. He set Patrick down, already knowing that he'd require some pretty close watching. The toddler began exploring in his typical almost two year old way.

"Danno, can you watch him, and make Sean a bottle at the same time? I'm going to change Sean and see if he'll go to bed- stay sleeping."

"Sure, Steve." And he began to get the formula and bottles out of the travel bag. Steve grabbed a diaper and headed to his bedroom. He found two cribs there, all made up, against the wall. He laid Sean in one, using it as a changing table, and got the baby changed and ready for bed. He woke briefly, but with the bottle Danny brought in and a little walking and bouncing, was soon sound asleep. Steve easily put him down in the crib, covered him, and left the sleeping baby peacefully at rest.

Walking back into the living room, he said, "Danno, they're amazing- two cribs in there. How'd they know to put them in my room?"

"That's my doing, Steve. I suggested it. At least to start with, I figured you'd sleep better with them nearby. And hey, did you see in the spare bedroom? Two dressers. And the rocker, and stroller. Also, your cupboard is stocked with the formula we're using for Sean. They really DID take care of everything, Steve. Even diaper service is arranged!"

Steve shook his head. "Hey, Patrick…" Steve was about to scold him for touching something. His apartment was FAR from childproofed. But Steve hesitated and thought to himself. _"No, he's just curious. He wants to figure things out. I'm not going to yell at him for that…"_

He revised his words, "Hey, Patrick, that a glass paperweight. See, look at it." He held it with him, turning it over, showing him all sides. "It can break, and it's pretty heavy. I'll put it up here." And he set it up high.

"Danno, you think he might consider going to bed?" Danny was dubious…. "I dunno, Steve."

"Let me make him a snack and we'll see." Steve gave him a small snack of a small glass of milk and half of a peanut butter and honey sandwich. Then changed his diaper, got him into his pajamas, and put him in his crib. Patrick stood in it, grabbed the railing, and cried, reaching out to Steve to be picked up. Steve stood there a minute, then decided it would be best to take him. He took him, and Patrick clung tightly to the man he was coming to know and trust. Steve looked at him, "It's got to be tough for you, we'll get through it, Patrick." He walked into the living room, pulled the rocking chair onto his lanai, and went out to rock with the boy. It was a peaceful time for both of them. Patrick seemed to soak it up, desperately needing it. As Steve rocked, his mind thought to fatherhood and how he'd do it. He knew he would, he was just figuring out, BEGINNING to figure out, the how.

Some time later, Danno stepped out onto the lanai, finding his friend in deep thought. "Steve, it's almost 2 am. Go to bed." Steve looked at him…. Then at the sleeping boys on his shoulder. He asked very tentatively, "Danno, do you think I'll do okay as their dad?"

Danno looked carefully at him and replied quietly, "Steve, I believe you can do ANYTHING well that you put your mind to. But I knew you'd do fine as Sean and Patrick's daddy that first night. I walked to the bedroom and you were sound asleep, Sean snoozing on your chest, Patrick tucked into the crook of your arm. All three of you looked perfect. They looked safe and content, you looked fully at ease with it. Keep in mind, Steve, this was in your 'unconscious' state. It was natural for you. Yes, I think you'll not only be 'okay' as their dad, you'll be terrific. I have NO doubts."

Steve humbly replied, "Thank you, my friend."

Then Danno laughed, "And, to be honest, I'm expecting there to be times that we'll get a good laugh out of your parenting, or challenges you'll find yourself in. You know, when Patrick dumps his milk in your shoes or something."

Steve smiled, "Yeah, well, Danno, my boy, you're going to be my right hand man in all this, I'll make you help with any 'challenges' I run into!"

Danno said seriously, "Steve, it'll be my honor to be a part of your life, and theirs."

Steve went to sleep in short order. Next morning, Danno suggested that Steve go jogging. I can handle things here. Steve debated, but took him up on the offer. It felt good to hit the sand, to feel the ocean air, to hear the waves crash. He was beginning, just beginning, he thought to have a few moments of clear thinking..

He came back with a question for Danno, one that indicated to his friend the wheels were turning. "Danno, do you think I should have them call me Uncle Steve or Dad? **I** think Dad. Besides legally being their father, now, I am dad for all practical purposes. I mean, I'd never deceive them about Tom or anything, but in the long run, I think if they called me Dad it would be better. What do you think?'

Danno agreed. 'Okay, good."

Steve immediately moved to the next item on his agenda. "I'm planning on taking off at least a week or 10 days or so, probably until the end of the month. We need to figure things out, get settled. I need to figure out some kind of day care or something. I think I need to spend a day at Chin's house and REALLY watch Keiko and see what parents do. I'm not just Dad, I'm also MOM!"

Danno laughed. Steve continued, "Listen, let me get cleaned and showered, then I want you to head to the office and check on things there. I KNOW everyone is telling me it is all fine, I want you to check. I don't know when I'll be in- as I said, probably not before the end of the month. I expect you to let me know if there is anything that DOES need my attention."

As Danno wiped Patrick's sticky paw from jelly toast, he laughed, "Fine, Steve. So what are you going to do today?"

"Get to know my boys- MY BOYS- Danno- a bit better, unpack their stuff, take care of them, be a Dad. Probably set about 15 things 'up high' out of Patrick's reach. I don't want to continually have to say no-no-no to him. I want him to have some freedom to explore, but safely."

With that, Steve headed off to clean up, Danno finished breakfast stuff. When Steve came out, the younger man announced that they had both just been changed. (Steve wondered how old they were before they were potty trained, and HOW in the world did one do that? Yes, a visit to Keiko would be in order…) Danno hesitated leaving, Steve picked up on it.

"What, Danno? You don't think I can handle it? Well, I'd better, or better figure it out. We'll get by. Naw, we'll do better than 'get by'. We'll do GREAT! Won't we, fellas?"

Sean was in Steve's arms and just cooed, Patrick seemed not to care about Steve's comment one way or the other. Danny laughed and left, "Call if you need anything. Want me to bring supper by?"

Steve looked indignant, "NO! Come on over for supper, but I can cook!"

His friend made his departure. Steve looked at his two charges. He sat down with them on his lap in the rocking chair and had a long adult talk with them. He explained who he was, what was happening, how it would be. He kept things positive and upbeat, explaining that life has changed, for ALL three of them, but life was great, and would continue to be great. He knew he was talking way over their heads, that didn't matter to him, partly he said all this because HE needed to hear it out loud. But he DID believe it all, and knew that THEY would as well, as they got older. Steve found the rocking soothing, he thought the boys also did. He anticipated they'd spend many an hour there.

He brought Patrick into the guest bedroom, and Sean, who he set on the bed. He looked around, deciding what changes might need to be made to make it a suitable "boys" bedroom. Not too much, really. He began unpacking their belongings, stowing them in the dressers in the room, thanks to Chin or someone. Patrick wandered out a few times, necessitating a quick search for him by Steve. After the second time, he said, "Okay, buddy, you're getting locked in here." And shut the bedroom door, hoping Patrick wouldn't be able to reach and open it (which he wasn't). He enticed the toddler to come over and "help" unpack. Steve learned quickly that having a toddler help meant things took longer to do, but he didn't really care, it was good to teach them to help. Steve made a point frequently of saying thank you and praising the clumsy efforts.

They'd been at it almost an hour (with no great headway having been made) when Sean decided he had enough of just sitting on the bed. So they played with him a while (Steve actually found this fun…) Then he decided that probably he was hungry. More or less he had determined that a 4 hour feeding schedule was about what Sean wanted/needed. He went in the kitchen and made a bottle, also some rice cereal. Sean didn't sit up yet in a high chair alone, so Steve sat him on his lap as he fed him. And it went fairly well. Except he kept needing to set Sean down to get Patrick out of something, or just check on him. Finally he got wise, and set Patrick in the high chair with a few raisins. This worked well.

Later that morning, when the boys were napping, he called Chin's wife, Keiko, to thank her for all she did. And also to ask if he might stop over for a few hours in a crash course on parenting. She laughed and welcomed him. He said he'd come after naps.

She welcomed him with open arms, taking Sean and hugging him fiercely and matronly. Patrick was a bit reserved at this exuberant woman, and stood behind Steve for a few minutes until he felt more comfortable. Keiko just let him be. And her own three youngest at home were terribly excited with the company. Steve asked all kinds of questions, from "How do you get anything DONE without them getting into trouble?" to "What kind of eating/sleeping schedule is normal/good? What should I FEED them?"

Keiko patiently answered all his questions, but Steve also gained just as much through osmosis, really watching her and how she did it. He'd been in Chin's home before, and seen him and his whole family at various events, but he never paid attention in quite the same way as he did now as to HOW they handled the large brood. He was getting a few ideas….

The next few days the new family began to figure each other out. The boys seemed to be settling into their new home. Patrick would sometimes walk to Steve and say "Mama?" Steve would pick him up and hold him, often shed a tear or two, and tell him that mama wouldn't be here anymore. It nearly broke his heart to face that.

Steve brought the boys up to the office. Everyone gushed over them. Patrick was becoming very secure with Steve, and was, as was typical of a toddler that age, somewhat wary of strangers. Sean wooed everyone with his gurgles and smiles, content to be passed around like a new toy.

Steve was overcome with gratitude for his ohana, all they had done for him. They organized a baby shower for him. Not quite the kind they would for a female friend or secretary, but a nice thoughtful gathering where they had gotten together a few more items he'd be needing and didn't yet have. This just really made him speechless.

He had arranged for Keiko to take care of them during the days/times when he worked. He had spent time at her house, they were somewhat familiar with her and her house. Steve had planned on cutting way back on his hours. Things would still function well enough with Five-O.

One day as he was returning from some grocery shopping, he had Sean in the sling, as well as Patrick. He wasn't sure if it was supposed to be used that way, but he found that he could put Sean in, laying down, front right side, and hitch Patrick in astride his hip on the left side. Worked for him, he was able to hold both kids and still have both hands free. His neighbor saw him and visited a bit. Mrs. Keolani, a delightful retired school teacher, knew the situation and had offered to help any way she could. She helped Steve into his apartment and to unload groceries. She stayed with the boys as he ran back down for 3 more bags. He had to buy more food these days.

In conversation, he explained that he had lined up Chin's wife for day care, but his only regret was that he'd have to get them up and moving awfully early. Mrs. Keolani said, "Steve, you haven't been jogging much- that's because you've got the boys, right?"

Steve relied, "Well, yes…"

This no-nonsense woman said, "Look, Steve. How about if I come over in the mornings? I get up real early anyway. Bring my crossword puzzles. You jog like you like to do, then head off to work. I'll stay with the boys, get them up at a more reasonable hour. I can get them fed and dressed, and then take them over to the Kellys. That would work well for EVERYONE."

Steve was hesitant, the woman was offering a lot. She sensed his hesitation and the reason for it. "Oh come ON, Steve. You are simply going to HAVE to learn to accept help with them. I CAN do it, I'd LOVE to do it, you certainly NEED me to do it. So your proper response is, 'Thank you very much, Mrs. K. That would be absolutely terrific. You're a gem!' ''

Steve laughed heartily. "It DOES sound like an ideal solution. Thank you very much, Mrs. K. That would be absolutely terrific. You're a gem! And okay, we'll try it. But if it's not working for you, let me know."

"Okay, Steve, but it WILL work fine."

And little by little, Steve worked out the details in his life that allowed him to be father- and mother- to his two new sons. Life had changed. Life was good. He was happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Over the next few months, he began to feel more comfortable in the fatherhood role. The boys were beginning to feel "at home". Routines were established; they got to know one another. Steve had learned to balance work and the rest of his life. Work was no longer THE consuming factor of his time and energy. He'd gone down to a 4 day work week (yet still over 40 hours), and enlisted HPD help much more often, Duke and Ben, in particular All was going fairly smoothly. His neighbor lady was quite happy with early morning child care duty, and then Keiko took over until Steve was done for the day.

Steve enjoyed the boys. HIS sons. He watched as Sean learned to sit up without toppling over, then to scoot around. He watched as Patrick became more and more curious, and used language and words more and more. He talked quite a bit now at just 2 ½, and most of it was understandable. Steve always had the boys helping him as he did things at home.

He had gone through legal proceedings regarding the guardianship, ordinary but extensive paperwork. After much thought, he changed their last name to McGarrett. He thought that his sister would have wanted that.

One afternoon he had taken them to a nearby park they liked to play at. He was pushing Sean in the baby swing, while Patrick was climbing on a dome type structure a little ways off. Suddenly Patrick yelled for help. Steve gave Sean a good push and walked over. "Help, I stuck." Steve looked carefully, he was not stuck, per se. He was at a point about 3' off the ground, hanging on dearly, but securely, afraid to move. Steve was real big on letting the kids figure things out themselves, encouraging independence. He asked "What can you do to get yourself unstuck?"

"I dunno. Help! I fall!" Steve looked pointedly at him, then at the ground. He said, "And what happens if you fall?" Patrick said, "Owie!" Steve asked, "Big owie?" Patrick shook his head no. Steve continued, "So, if you fall, you fall. No big deal." The he suggested that he look at his feet and where he might move his feet to be able to get down. Patrick finally did this, and then slowly, carefully, he DID move his feet and did inch his way down. All Steve said was, "You saw what you needed to do to get down, then you did that. You moved your feet and hands so you could climb down. You figured it out." He always tried to DESCRIBE what he saw, instead of outright tell them something was good or bad. If they could learn to see things, they could provide their OWN judgment and learn NOT to rely on others for what they thought. By describing what had happened, Steve was letting Patrick form his OWN unconscious judgment. _"Hey, I DID figure it out, and I DID get down. I can do things. I am capable."_ Steve thought this was MUCH better than HIM saying something like, "Good job." He also let his boys know that there was NOTHING wrong in failing, in falling. That was okay. It meant you were TRYING. As long as you got back up, didn't let the failure defeat you, it made no difference. It was just a learning experience. In his opinion, way too many people were afraid of doing things for fear of failure. He didn't want his sons to be afraid of failing.

Steve went back to pushing Sean. Patrick played a while round the base of the dome. Steve watched out of the corner of his eye. He climbed back up a little ways, maybe 2 ½'. And fell. Steve said nothing, pretended he didn't see it. Patrick looked his way, rubbed his knee, sat a few seconds on the ground, looking at the dome. Then headed back onto it, climbing- cautiously- about 3 ½' this time, up AND down successfully. When he finally got back down, you could almost FEEL the satisfaction he had, the confidence in having accomplished something hard. Steve smiled.

A woman walked over to him who had been sitting and playing with her young (maybe 1 yo) daughter in the sand box. "Hi, I'm Melanie. That was really interesting."

He extended his hand, "I'm Steve. What was interesting?"

"The way you handled that with your son. Most parents would first of all have said, 'BE CAREFUL! DON'T FALL!' And then they would have plucked him off when he asked for help instead of letting him figure it out. Are you a child psychiatrist or something?"

Steve laughed heartily, "No! I just think it's better to let them work things out on their own, as long as they're not in any serious danger."

She said, "Makes sense, I guess I never thought of it that way." They chatted a bit more, "You know, it's pretty unusual to see dads taking their kids to the park. Usually it's the moms."

Steve simply replied, "I'm a single parent."

"Oh, she replied, I'm sorry. So am I. My husband died before Stephanie was born in a plane crash."

Steve knew she had the wrong idea and wanted to set her straight. "That's too bad. Actually, these boys ARE my sons, but they are also my nephews. My sister and her husband were killed last year in a car accident. I was the legal guardian. Now I'm dad. So I'm not a widower or anything."

Melanie, surprised, but understanding, said, "Oh."

They switched to less melancholy topics and after a few minutes she suggested, "You know, I think Patrick's little feat over there deserves a treat. What do you say we take the kids down the block to Leolani's Ice Cream Parlor for a cone?"

Steve was unsure. Hesitantly he said, thinking out loud, "Usually we don't have treats like ice cream…. But maybe it's a good idea… Okay…" He called Patrick over who came running when his dad explained what the plan was. He settled Sean into his backpack and slung him onto his back. Steve had really liked the sling he had first used with him. As he got older and bigger, he more or less outgrew it, Steve saw special backpacks they made for carrying older babies and toddlers, and had invested in one of those. Steve AND Sean both loved it.

Melanie laughed at this, "Wow, backpack and all. Looks like you've got it down pretty good."

Steve laughed, "Well, works for us."

They got to the shop, cones ordered. Steve had sat the boys in chairs at an outside table, where they most delightedly enjoyed every last lick of the special treat. Even Steve indulged himself. He and Melanie visited while the children made the expected messes as they devoured the sticky confection. She was a free lance photographer, who helped support herself and daughter by doing children's' portrait photography.

Steve saw her the next week at the park. She had her camera with her and asked if it would be okay if she took some pictures of Patrick. She thought he had the most inquisitive look and thought she could get some great pics. Steve was fine with it. Once Patrick got over the novelty of "posing" for the camera, she DID get some great shots. Steve invited her and her daughter to lunch the next Saturday at his place, and for an afternoon of beach fun. Melanie delightfully accepted. "I'll bring the pictures then."

Steve made a simple lunch of sandwiches and fruit. They brought it down to the beach and ate there on a blanket. The parents had to keep an eye on the kids, but had a good time none-the-less. Melanie realized that Patrick, not yet three, could swim. "Steve, he can SWIM!"

"Yes, Melanie, I live on the beach. He'd better be able to swim! Sean's pretty good, too, but not quite there yet."

"How in the world did he learn to swim?" Steve was puzzled by her question, "He just learned. I guess you could say I taught him. He doesn't have strokes down or anything, but can keep himself afloat, and get to where he wants to be…"

"But HOW did you teach him?"

Steve thought about it. "I took him to the pool, let him go a few feet away from me, and let him figure out how to get to me. He dunked more than a few times, but got it finally. Then I guess I just moved farther and farther away.. 5', then 10', then he could reach the side of the pool form the middle. I'm more careful in the ocean with the currents and all. But this little part of the beach is a fairly secluded cove, not real strong tides."

Melanie was amazed, she'd never seen a kid that small who could swim. She wanted to see Steve demonstrate with Sean, so he took him out about waist deep and showed her. Sean loved it and could do about 5'. He LOVED making his way to daddy, then being scooped up! She was flabbergasted.

They bundled everything up and headed back up to the condo. Sandy bodies got rinsed off outside. It was time for Melanie to leave, so she took her daughter and they said their goodbyes.

She and Steve enjoyed each other's company. They had their weekly "play date" at the park. And sometimes they would also go out somewhere- they did a trip to the zoo, another to a children's museum.

When Melanie found out what Steve did for a living she was a bit taken aback. What happened was that they'd keep running into people who knew Steve. She'd only moved to Hawaii 5 months ago, but it seemed everyone knew Steve, and she asked about it. "Are you a celebrity or something, and I'm clueless as to WHO you are? Everyone seems to know you…"

He laughed and told her. "WOW! I'm impressed!"

Steve mumbled, "Nothing to be impressed about…"

Not only did Steve and Melanie get along, so did the kids. Well, as much as kids that age GET along. Pretty much it is playing side by side, not so much together. Melanie continued to be surprised at Steve's parenting methods. When he'd be fixing a meal, he'd plop Sean right up on the counter in the middle of preparations. For the most part, Sean would just sit and watch, sometimes "helping". Steve might give him a spoon and empty bowl to stir or something. "Steve, aren't you afraid he's going to fall off?" Steve looked at the baby. "I guess not. Not really. I started setting him up here as soon as he could sit. He stays put. He likes it up here, he can watch and see what's going on."

She countered, "But what about things like knives, or hot foods?" Steve shrugged, "I guess I naturally keep those away from him… he's never gotten cut or burned. Dumped a few things out sometimes…stuck his hand into something I'm making… that's no big deal."

And Steve would sometimes call Patrick over to help. He'd have him do things like squeeze the oranges for fresh juice. Once he stood him on a sturdy chair at the peninsula with a small cutting board, some mushrooms, and gave him a sharp knife. He watched his son closely as he had him chop them. Again, Melanie was shocked, "STEVE, he'll cut himself!"

"Melanie, NO he won't! He's done this before. It's a good way to teach him to use a sharp knife. Mushrooms are soft, and don't roll away on you. They cut easily."

"BUT, Steve, he's not even THREE yet!"

"Mel, he CAN do it. Just look at him. And I'm right here. He's fine. I've discovered that kids are much more capable than most adults think they are. Patrick also cuts his own pancakes. He's not perfect, but he's getting it."

Melanie just shook her head. "Well, I can't say I understand it, but it seems to work for you." And little by little, usually at home, she tried doing some things Steve's way, and found it worked, and she liked it!

Steve had been given a playpen at the beginning. He used it a few times, then decided he didn't like it. It was too stifling. It did mean he had to pay more attention to the boys, but he just felt like putting them in the playpen was like jail. He ended up giving it away.

When they were together, Steve treated Melanie's daughter, Stephanie, the same as he did his boys. Melanie asked if he'd try to teach her how to teach Stephanie to swim. Steve was happy to do so. Next time they went to the Country Club pool, he instructed Melanie. "Okay, now go about chest deep on you. Now toss her away from you maybe 2-3'." He had already, in play, taught the little girl that her head going under water was no big deal, and fun. Melanie was scared, and hesitated. She more or less simply set Stephanie a little away from her, and kept her arm real close, close enough for her to grab on to.

Steve shook his head. "Melanie, YOU'RE scared. And she's picking up on your fear. What's going to happen? NOTHING. She WON'T DROWN. Might get a mouthful of water a few times, but she'll figure it out."

Melanie tried again, but did about the same thing. Steve was frustrated with her. "Mel, give her here and get out of the pool. Keep an eye on the boys for me, will you? And watch."

Stephanie knew Steve, and felt comfortable with him, more or less. But she was still a little afraid of the water (Steve thought that was thanks to her mom's fears, but he didn't say anything.) Steve played with her a few minutes in the deep water. He'd laugh and tickle, toss her up, let her splash down (head under) and then grab her again. She got to giggling and laughing and feeling very at ease. He went to the side of the pool and had her jump in, jump into his arms. She was just learning how to jump, so it was funny to watch her. She'd start to jump, then end up simply stepping off the edge.

Then Steve took one step away from the side, farther out. This time, she jumped/stepped, and instead of him grabbing her after she went under, she came up and he was one step away. He DIDN'T grab her right away. She started thrashing (but not panicking). He reached out a hand close, and she made it to his hand, then pulled herself to him, shaking the water out of her hair and eyes. Steve smiled at her, but made no comment. They did this about 5 times with him one step away. Then he took her and played around in the middle of the pool a bit. And then said they were going to play a game she knew, where he'd toss her up. She squealed with delight. Steve knew that Melanie was afraid in the water with her, and that the little girl picked right up on that, and as a result she herself was afraid when mom was around. But not when she was with Steve alone.

So he began tossing her but instead of straight up, he'd throw her so she'd "land" 1-2' away from him. And over the next 5 minutes, easily increased that to 3-4'. He looked over to Melanie and hollered, "She's swimming!" They kept playing another 15 minutes or so before he called it quits. By then she could do 5'.

Melanie told Steve, "I am amazed. YOU'RE amazing."

Steve laughed, "Mel, it's easy!"

One thing that Melanie provided for Sean and Patrick that Steve was lacking (and knew it) was a nurturing presence sometimes. A soft female for a hug or kiss. Steve didn't tolerate babying, it wasn't that. Just more of a tender companion. He appreciated that from Melanie, and knew it was good for them to get that once in a while.

Over time, Steve realized he was beginning to be attracted to Melanie as a woman, not just as a mom with a daughter, another single parent he could talk over things with. She WAS a most interesting and complex person, and he was intrigued. They had known each other about 6 months, and saw each other a few times a month, sometimes weekly, once in a while more than that. He decided to ask HER out, alone, on a date, no kids. It had been a long while since he'd been out on a date- alone with a woman- not counting here the many "dates" they had with the kids.

He ended up taking her on a Saturday night to one of his favorite small quiet ocean-side restaurants. Then they went for a long walk on the beach. He tried to make an effort to NOT talk about the kids. And they DID find things to talk about other than the kids. They had a delightful evening and he escorted her home late. Chin's daughter was babysitting for him, she was old enough to drive herself home, so that was not something Steve needed to deal with.

He stood a moment in the boys' bedroom door, looking at them, and thinking. It had been almost a year now since Tom and MaryAnn's deaths. Sometimes he still found it hard to believe. He marveled at how the boys had grown. They had changed SO much, time really flew by with little kids. He reflected on how different HIS life was now. He still loved his work immensely, but when he was completely honest, he knew it no longer held first place in his heart. His sons did. And he was perfectly fine with that. And surprised. NEVER had he thought there would be anything that would usurp Five-O's number one place in his life.

He contemplated each boy and his personality. Patrick was so curious, wanted to figure everything out, do things for himself. And he WAS pretty clever, he DID figure out many things. One thing that was really frustrating for young Patrick was when he was unable to make himself understood. His language was pretty good for his age, above average for sure, and Steve was expert at interpreting his words and thoughts. Almost like he could see what the little mind was thinking. But sometimes he DIDN'T get it, and then Patrick could get pretty frustrated. He didn't have many temper tantrums, but once in awhile this would precipitate one. And Steve had no patience for it. He'd try to understand, but if Patrick was losing control, he'd make him sit in a time out.

Patrick also loved to help Sean and teach him things. Steve often got a chuckle out of something he'd watch or overhear the older brother explaining to the younger one. Patrick also seemed pretty smart to Steve. He'd figure out number things, colors, all kinds of concepts that surprised Steve. He asked Keiko about it (she obviously had WAY more experience than he did on what was "normal" for a given age.) She told him very directly that she thought he was VERY smart, much smarter than average. Steve made a mental note to make sure to cultivate that innate intelligence.

Patrick was also sensitive- he could pick up pretty easily if Sean was tired or upset, or Steve, or others. He tried to make them feel better, in his innocent not even three-year-old way.

Sean, on the other hand, was almost pure fun. He loved laughing and giggling. He was usually pretty easy going and compliant with what you directed him to. He was much more of a sit-back-and watch type of fellow. But when he was ready to try something, after studying it a while, he'd usually move pretty quickly. He sat on his chubby little duff for a log while, many months, apparently thinking about how to move. But then when he thought he had it figured out, he tried hard, and within a few days was mobile all over the apartment. He was really quite agile and athletic. He learned how to climb out of his crib (without falling). He seemed to have a very good sense of his physical body. Probably would be a good surfer someday, especially if Danno got a hold of him. Sean seemed more of a thinker. He still didn't talk much, but Steve knew he understood a tremendous amount.

He reflected on how much HE had learned over the last nine months. About himself, about life, about his priorities. He was seriously considering cutting back even MORE on his Five-O work. He thought about Melanie. He liked her from the beginning, but he was starting to REALLY like her. As he contemplated, he realized it started out as a friendship with another single parent, now he was discovering the woman behind the mother. And liking what he was finding, liking her a LOT.

He went and sat out on his lanai with a glass of fresh pineapple juice. He thought more about Melanie. She was a very talented photographer, with a keen eye for the best angle for a photo. She was superb at capturing candid expressions. She was a deep philosopher and they had many profound discussions late into the nights as the kids slept. She was a loving mother, and woman, and cared very much for people. Melanie wasn't afraid of challenges, but preferred to use her brain to keep things running smoothly. And she was quite intelligent, Steve learned. But humble and modest. All in all, a woman Steve found most attractive in many ways.

Conversely, Melanie also found Steve fascinating. He was a man of many facets, had a very private side, but his sons were bringing some – many- of his shielded emotions to the front. She suspected he laughed and played way more in the last nine months than ever before. She recognized his intelligence, his commitment to law and order. And watched him as he grew as a father, figuring out where that fit in his life. And she was pleased to see that it held a very high place.

Steve was very different from her first husband. Mike was wonderful, she loved him dearly. He was an accountant and liked things to be very orderly. Not just orderly, but he needed to know everything. Make sure all the numbers (and everything) was exactly right. They had a loving and devoted relationship. His death hit her hard, especially as they had talked so much about being parents together. Somehow knowing Steve, and spending time with him and his boys made up for that loss a little bit…

Over the next few months, Melanie and Steve grew closer. Steve decided to semi-retire from Hawaii Five-O and let Danno take over the reins. He continued on as consultant on an as-needed basis. He also began lecturing, as well as writing. The last two were at Danno's urging. "Steve, you know SO much, you have SO much to share, that others can learn from. It would be a shame for you not to lecture and write." He ended up having plenty to keep him busy, but he also was free to choose how much he wanted to work.

It really wasn't a hard decision to ask Melanie to marry him. He looked forward to it and had planned an elaborate proposal. What he did was buy her a new camera- there was one she wanted, and he hid a beautiful engagement ring INSIDE it. He gave her the camera one night after a wonderful date. She gushed and oohed over it, appropriately and sincerely. Steve smiled and said, "You're missing the real gift. The real message is INSIDE the camera." She popped open the back, saw the ring. At the same time he wrapped his arms around her from behind, whispered in her ear that he loved her, and asked if she would marry him.

"Oh, Steve, YES!" And cried tears of joy and bliss on his shoulder for a long time. Steve was happy to not only be getting a wonderful wonderful woman as a wife (and mother for his sons), he was also getting a delightful daughter. He really did like and enjoy Stephanie.

A few months later, they had a simple wedding, with close friends in attendance. (Steve had no family, and Melanie had only a few scattered shirt-tail relatives on the mainland.) All three children were there, of course, and part of the ceremony, in their own simple ways. Melanie and Steve went on a short honeymoon, the kids stayed with Keiko, Chin and their tribe. But neither Steve nor Melanie felt comfortable leaving them for long, so it was just a weekend getaway for the newlyweds.

But…. long enough for them to get started successfully on their OWN bundle of joy!


End file.
